Write a short paragraph in which a character discovers a new way of seeing the world. (Use David Malouf’s Jock or Janet McIvor as a model).
Bess’ mind was spinning like the water that whirled around her; she was flinging her limbs about like a giant octopus. But the more she resisted the water’s powerful surge, the weaker she became, falling deeper and deeper into unconsciousness… until her lungs filled with the liquid. She saw stars in her vision, beautiful twinkles of light like the crystals on a chandelier. Streams of colours filled her mind, colours like those that appear after a great storm. Illuminated they looked like the Northern Lights she remembered from her trips as a child to Alaska. Her grandfather would point to the skies and say “Bess! Look, look! Isn’t it the most wonderful thing you’ve ever set your eyes on?” “It’s like a stream to heaven Grandpa!” They were waves of light, like a vibration of energy filling the sky, and filling her.
It was coming from the centre within her, as if there was a crack in her heart, opening up like when the earth cracks open and lava oozes out. Hot, molten gold oozing out of her, the dark energy of the water transforming into this golden liquid. It mixed with the water until everything around her was golden and sparkled like multitudes of chandeliers in a light shop. Suddenly her body jerked violently and the water flung her out like a wild wind flings leaves about. Silence infiltrated her and there was this immense blackness, everything was black…Time was at a standstill. Warmth like fire rushed down her throat, there was a constant rhythm pushing down on her chest. Her eyes flied open and her body jerked forward, coughing and coughing. She looked up, and there he was.
The Visionary Imagination 
I have enjoyed reading an entry that has really captured the poetical style of David Malouf’s prose. This entry has created resonant imagery through the use of rhythm, alliteration and sibilance; for instance, the line, “She saw stars in her vision.” Combining the imagery of fire and water helps to bring about a sense of dynamism, of two opposing forces working against each other. It also helps to make your use of simile seem more spontaneous and original, by combing images that are not typically associated, for instance the hot lava oozing, warmth and light, as waves overcome Bess. I also loved the visual images you selected to accompany your text, they were highly complementary, and mirrored the imagery of your prose perfectly.
Pingback: Waves of Emotion and the Energy of Light | Drifting Visions
Pingback: ENGL329 Literature Peer Review Week 9 | Samara – The Visionary Imagination
I really enjoyed reading this entry which is highly complementary to David Malouf’s writing style. I found the manner in which you have described Bess’ transformative and life changing experience extremely powerful which I feel is particularly reflected in the line “Hot, molten gold oozing out of her, the dark energy of the water transforming into this golden liquid.” A powerful visual image of fire and water uniting is clearly created which is also a reflection of your ability to compose a captivating piece. Moreover I like how you have incorporated Blake’s clear influence on you in your entry when you state “It’s like a stream to heaven” which embodies the idea of seeing the infinite in the simple things in life.